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.My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years, and I am self conscious because I don't weigh 150 pounds. It really bothers me that my boyfriend watches porn, and we've gotten in some serious arguments about it. I told him how I hate knowing that he watches porn, and knowing he compares me to the girls in the videos just makes me feel worse. He told me that its "a personal thing" and none of my business. I told him as long as he watches porn, I'm not having sex with him. Obviously not what either of us want, but there's no better way to get my point across. What should I do so that we both can be in agreement?
Dear Reader,
As strange as it seems for a boy with a girlfriend he’s having sexual relations with to still be watching porn, it is actually very common. The fact of the matter is that, regardless, boys watch porn.
You have been dating this guy for almost two years. By now he knows your flaws, weaknesses, and tribulations. However, you have also been in a relationship with yourself your entire life. To solve this problem, not only must your boyfriend be accepting of your weight, but you must make peace with your body and stop comparing yourself to the pornography girls, as well. Nobody likes to be compared to anyone, especially when you’re being compared to a porn star. Remember that you have a real life connection with your boyfriend, and a porn star could never compare to that.
Denying your boyfriend sex to get him to stop watching porn will only drive him away. If he isn’t getting it from you, he will get it from somewhere else. Most likely, he’ll get it from watching more porn, which will only worsen the problem at hand. It’s not fair for you to demand him to stop watching porn, but watching porn when he knows how uncomfortable it makes you feel is not fair of him either. In a situation like this, it is best to compromise. Maybe instate a “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule where he watches porn, but doesn’t tell you about it. Or, maybe you could be the porn star for a change and fulfill his fantasies by the two of you making your own sex tapes together. Whatever the two of you decide, make sure you are both content with the decision. Once you mend the relationships you have with yourself and your boyfriend, the rest should work itself out.
Love,
Under the Sheets Expert
I am new at sex. I have recently lost my virginity over the summer and am continuing to have sex with my girlfriend. My problem is that I cum too quickly. Are there any helpful tips to help me last longer?
Dear Spencer,
I’m sorry to say summer is long gone, and it looks like you have developed a real problem here. It was understandable the first couple times you had sex to be easy to please, but, by now, you should have developed tolerance and self control beneath the sheets. Try these suggestions to help you last longer in the bedroom.
For starters, you could try masturbating more often. Make a quick run to Acme to pick up some lotion and a box of tissues and have a porno-marathon. The more frequently you cum, the less likely you will be to cum too quickly during sex.
While having sex, try to take it easy and slow. Some people have sex like they’re Energizer bunnies, but if you really want to last in the bedroom, try taking things a little slower. This will help prolong both of your sexual experiences before you ejaculate and it’s over.
In an emergency situation, try refocusing. Rather than thinking about how big your dick is right now or how tight she is, think about other things. If worse comes to worse, just picture your grandmother naked! You don’t want to go soft, but it’s okay to think about other things to take your mind off having sex if it means being able to last longer.
Premature ejaculation is no joke and isn’t fun for anyone. However, don’t let an eager penis discourage you! Try the tips and tricks I listed above and, by all means, keep having sex!
Love,
Under the Sheets Expert
I've been seeing this guy for about a month now, and we have great chemistry! But he has yet to make a move on me and all I wanna do is get him in the sack! How do I approach him to do me without looking like a total slut!
Dear Bailey,
The roles seemed to have switched! It looks like it’s the guy who wants the relationship, and you are just in it for the sex. The fact that he has wined and dined you, built up a good connection with you, and still hasn’t even tried to touch you either means that he only sees you as a friend, or he wants you to be his girlfriend.
I believe he really does want a relationship with you, and maybe he is also a little shy. However, it sounds like you are both a little nervous about having sex with each other. Putting him on the spot and outwardly asking him straight up to have sex with you will probably freak him out. My suggestion is the next time the two of you are alone and cuddled up watching a movie, lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek. It’s harmless and subtle, but it puts the ball in his court to make the next move and decide what to do next. This way, you won’t look like a slut, and, if he’s game, you can get him in the sack!
Best of luck!
Love,
Under the Sheets Expert
“Okay so my boyfriend and I have amazing sex. The first time I've ever had good sex actually. And I don't think his penis is small, I think it's perfect. But everytime we fuck, the condom ends up rolling off inside me. Wtf is going on?”
Dear Reader,
First of all, don’t blame the penis and definitely do not blame the sex! I have no doubt that your boyfriend’s penis is as big and juicy as you claim it to be and the sex must be phenomenal. So, before you upgrade your eyeglass prescription, test a few of these ideas first. For starters, reevaluate the size of the condoms your boyfriend is using. Condoms should roll down all the way and should fit like a glove and not like some stretched-out turtleneck sweater your grandmother shrunk in the wash. Also, go easy on the lube and try only lubricating the tip instead. Another possibility is that, sadly, your boyfriend may be loosing his erection. While this is “normal,” try spicing things up and invest in bondage, lingerie and whipped cream. Best of luck, and enjoy experimenting!
Love,
Under the Sheets Expert