Cupid can shoot long-distance, though most of his shots seem to fall within the range of a lazy flick of the bow. The range between two classmates, for example, is one that fails to test the strength of that archer-boy. Every once in a while, however, he seems to get an itchy quiver-finger, just dying to test his long-range shooting skills. In the time it takes for a pair of hearts to beat, a long distance relationship buds.
Going “LD” has its pros and cons. The pros revolve around the singularly incredible feeling of finding someone worth the separation. The cons? Well, the separation. On Valentine’s Day and most every other day, it’s important to remember that the number of miles between you and your other half has its upsides. It can be a chance for creativity. Here are a handful of ideas for how to celebrate Valentine’s Day long-distance:
Snail mail has been around since the dawn of time because it’s, well, timeless. But why send him one letter when you can send him several? Instead of the normal “So… What’s up?” letter that you could shoot out in about 30 seconds, try sending something unique to you. Write down one memory per letter, and send a handful. Ticket stubs and tidbits from dates (if you were Cupid-savvy enough to keep them). Take time to go the distance.
2. Skype date!
Yeah, sure. We all have Skype dates. We have Skype dates with the best friend from home, Skype dates with Mom. But why not have a real one? Depending on how debonair you feel, you can dress up, pull out the vase of roses, sit down with your candy hearts and banter. Sure, the sparkle in the eye doesn’t show up quite so well via pixilated webcams, but you can still gaze.
3. Rally the troops!
Sometimes, the absolute worst part of pulling off long-distance during Valentine’s Day is the thought that not even your closest friend realizes the strain. So you, as the stellar significant other, have a task. Call, email, text, send a messenger pigeon to some of your other half’s closest pals. Ask them, if they please, to help you make the day special. With the right crew, they could give your lover everything from a hug to a bouquet of flowers on your behalf.
4. Rain-check the date.
Unless your dearly beloved has been put absolutely beyond your reach (in which case, I don’t know whether to give Cupid props for the shooting skills or slap him for the cruelty of it), you will see him again. And when you do, remember the day you missed and make it a date to remember. But, for goodness sakes, don’t save the candy hearts. Nothing ruins the mood like a stale “Be Mine.”
Nothing decides the pass/fail success of Valentine’s Day like the soundtrack. Whether you send links on Facebook, call your dear and sing on speakerphone for the world to hear, hire a band of traveling musicians to be at her beck and call all day, send her “your song” or any song that ever reminded you of her once upon a time. Give her something to hum as the hours roll by.
6. Personalize the miles.
This valentine's day can be stuffed with things to do, no sweetheart needed. Here's our suggestion:
8:00 a.mUnless you have a job or a class to get to, hit the snooze button and sleep in a little longer today. You deserve it!
9:00 a.m.Wake up and make yourself the best dang breakfast you've ever eaten. I'm talking about an omelet STUFFED with veggies, cheese and bacon. Don't deprive yourself of the bacon today. Just don't. Not a cook? Check out Mike's Place for a killer breakfast.
10:00 a.mTake a shower. Or don't-- it's not like you're trying to impress anyone. Either way, look in the mirror and remind yourself just how awesome you are. You don't need a guy or gal to tell you that!
11:00 a.m.There are better things to do than sit on your couch all day. Make a conscious decision to go out and do something fun and productive. Go thrift store shopping at Einsten's Attic, get 15% off an oil change at Valvoline on Main St, or visit that new cafe downtown, Tree City Coffee & Pastry.
12:00 p.mIf you've been working or sitting in class the last 4 hours, go treat yo' self to lunch at a place like Taco Tantos or Ray's Place. There is no shame in sitting alone. Plus, you get to flirt with the server without anyone giving you the stink eye.
1:00 p.m.Look at you go--you're being so productive today without a worry in the world! Who needs a ball and chain when you can do it your way all day?!
2:00 p.mIt's time for a nap. You snore? Who cares! Go catch some power Z's.
3:00 p.m.> Don't you start staring enviously at the couples around you! You hold up your head high, put in those ear buds, and rock out to your favorite band. Maybe even blog about it. You never know who might be reading.
4:00 p.mWhile all the restaurants are getting filled to the brim with people shoving each other and servers becoming more and more rude as the night progresses, go out and get some ingredients for the perfect dinner--solo style. You could experiment with pizza recipes, a different kind of pasta, or even make a gourmet hamburger.
6:00 p.m.Turn on your favorite tunes, put on that awesome apron, and concoct the best dinner you've eaten since you stuffed your face at Thanksgiving. If your best friend is single too, invite them over and make a non-romantic dinner for two. Way to stick it to the cupid.
7:00 p.mIf you have it, break out the dessert. No sharing tonight! Pop in a good movie and just relax on the couch.
It's Thirsty Thursday, so invite your friends for a night out to bars like The Loft or Lounge 157. It's almost guaranteed that they'll want to get away from their boy or girlfriend by this time, anyway. And hey, nothing beats the free peanuts at The Loft!
10:00 p.mMake Kelly Clarkson proud and enjoy the rest of your night as a single, independent person. You still have the choice between getting laid or going to bed alone, and guess what? You won't have anyone resenting you for either route you take.
What is the best Valentine’s Day gift to get a girl?
I’d say it all depends on whether this girl is your girlfriend, how long you’ve been together, and what kind of chick she is. But because you asked for my opinion, here it is:
I don’t like roses, jewelry, or lingerie. Roses are beautiful and all, but they die, and you can’t do much besides smell them. Plus, sometimes they draw bugs.
I don’t trust any guy’s choice in anything wearable, and I just think jewelry is a bit more for married couples, so that’s out. And unless you’re dating Adriana Lima, whatever you pick out probably won’t look right in the mind of the girl you’re buying lingerie for because she didn’t try it on. Buying a Victoria’s Secret gift card will do the trick instead. But please note that there’s a 95% chance if I get a Victoria’s Secret gift card, it’s going toward sweat pants. As previously noted, this just depends on what kind of chick your girl is.
Personally, I only really fall for one cliché, and that’s the heart-shaped box of chocolates or chocolate covered strawberries. The Mayans considered chocolate a divine gift, and that’s one thing they did get right. I can’t really articulate why I love chocolate so much, maybe because a box of it is full of surprises, but I know whoever buys me it instantly gets brownie points. Plus, after I eat all the chocolates, I’m generally attracted to anything heart shaped, lacy, pink, or flowery, so I like to keep the boxes sitting out for a while.
Top the chocolate off with champagne and hurry up and leave so I can enjoy them in peace with girly TV on, and that’s what I call a perfect gift! So, S.G., maybe your girl is a little bit more sentimental than me (I would hope), but even so, you can’t go wrong with chocolate!
I’m going to be brutally honest: nothing about speed dating ever really appealed to me. Sitting with random guys every few minutes to make awkward small talk in hopes to find a boyfriend? Not really my thing. But when Kent State decided they were hosting a speed dating session in honor of Valentine’s Day, I had to check it out.
However, going there to simply scope out the scene was just too easy. So, in order to keep things interesting, I decided to be the worst speed date to see what reactions I could get from all the unsuspecting, semi-interesting boys of Kent State. And by changing my personalities for each guy, I gather quite a bit of info for those trying to be bad speed dates. Here’s what I learned:
1 Every date that was lucky enough to encounter it HATED when I didn’t make eye contact with him. I stared either above or next to a certain guys’ heads and man, that was a way to get frustration. One guy even asked me, “Are you even listening to me?” And I replied with every detail he said.
2I asked about porn. Not only was it funny for me to hear, it was also a great way to make the conversation sufficiently awkward. The good one was when I asked a kid about anime porn. His face was fifty shades of red, to say the least.
3Boys don’t find it “cool” to talk about your dog the whole time. I could seriously talk about my ten-pound poodle all day, so why not discuss it with potential soul mates? I talked and showed pictures (naturally, my dog’s adorable), most just rolled their eyes, awkwardly tried to talk to me about it, or tried to change the subject. But there had to be that ONE GUY that went with it, got super excited about his dog, and showed me pictures too. Needless to say, I was surprised by it.
4I learned that sometimes the guys were worse than I was. One guy was an ass to me before I even had time to say anything. Not only did he insult me, but he also decided to belittle my choice in career. (Rude.) Then there was the guy that asked me about “surprise butt sex,” and I’d rather not talk about that.
5Talking a lot is super annoying. And not just about my dog, but anything. Of course I got to see the boredom in each of their faces, but one even told my friend (who was also speed dating) how annoying my chatting was! Mission: complete.
6Guys didn’t like it when I was rude to them. Especially when I belittled them, their majors, rolled my eyes, or asked if the date was over yet. Pretty obvious though, right?
In a nutshell, I’ve figured out some of the best ways to NOT get dates but get laughs from speed dating. I can’t be too harsh, however; my friend and I actually met some decent guys that we ended up hanging out with after. So while I spent most of speed dating laughing on the inside, I did get a phone number and a few excellent conversations from the whole experience so I guess things worked out. So kids, if you’re ever feeling especially like an asshole at a speed dating event, use this as your guide.
Oh, Valentine’s Day. It’s a day filled with red hearts, chocolate, stuffed animals, and overly expensive dinners. And while those of us who aren’t in committed relationships watch movies alone and envy those who have Valentines, people with who have a “special someone” plan and budget something nice or cute or whatever for their sweetheart.
Only, sometimes that isn’t always the case. What if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t get all the hype about Valentine’s Day? You love your boyfriend or girlfriend just as much any other day, what makes this day any different? You shouldn’t have to prove your affection with candy and flowers. And while the anti-Valentine label might be O.K. with you, your significant other wants to celebrate the frilly holiday with you.
Well then, now what?
Let’s speak honestly, you don’t have many options depending on how adamant your boyfriend or girlfriend is about Valentine’s Day. Like many holidays, Valentine’s Day is one that is held near and dear to a lot of people. It’s one day out of the whole year where people can be openly lovey-dovey and get away with it entirely. Girls (usually) eat this up, and there are some guys who really get a kick out of being creative.
"More or less, bro to bro, suck it up and be a romantic."
More or less, bro to bro, suck it up and be a romantic. While you may not see much of a point to the whole thing, your partner does, and at the end of the day he/she is the person that matters, correct? If you do in-fact care about this person and they want to do something extravagant or exchange gifts, just roll with it. Not only is it the easier option, you can also spare some bad feelings and make your better half happy.
Don’t get too upset though, because there are ways to make it easier on you. If the two of you are doing gifts, tell your partner that you don’t want to go too crazy and to keep it simple, because, “you’re all I really need.” Not only are you saving yourself, but now you’re melting hearts too. Go you. If it’s a date night, you could opt to stay in for the night. Suggest that the two of you make dinner together. The cooking and cleaning of making dinner is a good opportunity to be close to one another, and can also be very romantic. Plus, it gets you out of the craziness known as a nice restaurant on Valentine’s Day and can maybe lead to some other forms of fun afterward.
So please, for your own sake, be a little selfless and try to see the appeal in Cupid’s holiday. In retrospect, unless you’re single, Valentine’s Day isn’t about you anyway. So, go on, look past the commercialism and spoil your sweetheart for a day.
Photo Courtesy of MCT Campus
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, figuring out exactly what you’re going to do for your significant other isn’t always the easiest decision. You want to make them happy without breaking the bank. You want to be easy with your money without being totally cliché. Here’s a list of the both the best and worst gifts, the things to avoid and the things to make sure you do for your Valentine.
1 Typical gifts = Roses, Box of chocolates When you think Valentine’s Day what automatically comes to mind? Flowers and chocolate. In my opinion, these two are the most typical and predictable gifts you could come up with, making it seem careless instead of thoughtful. To me, it’s just the easy route and excuse for getting your Valentine a gift because you feel like you MUST get them a gift. Avoid these gifts so you don’t come of as a cheapskate.
2 Colognes or perfume = You stink. As it seems like buying your boyfriend or girlfriend cologne or perfume would be an amazing idea, the reaction would likely be the opposite. In my eyes, my boyfriend buying me perfume would almost be insulting. “Happy Valentine’s Day, wear this perfume I bought you because you don’t smell good enough now.” Such things as care packages with lotions and scented sprays may make your Valentine think you’re hinting they’re smelly.
3 Engagement rings – Save your special day for its own day, not a day that is already a holiday. Stay away from engagement rings on Valentine’s Day. I wouldn’t call this gift tacky in any way whatsoever, but the idea of making the day of your engagement the same as a holiday might come off that way. Why would you want to celebrate your special day with a bunch of people all celebrating love in the same sense on the same day? Save something like this for your own, random, special day.
4 Cheap gifts – Please, just save your money. If you’re trying to save your money this Valentine’s Day, you can do it without being a total cheapskate. Stay away from the 3rd grade doggy-bag party style presents. Keep the fun size candy bars and pink bubblegum lip gloss in the Avon catalogue. At the college level, a girl would rather you save your money than waste it on cheap trinkets such as these. Just forget about it.
1 Lingerie for yourself Ladies- believe it or not, buying yourself a gift for Valentine’s Day easily becomes a gift for the both of you. Surprise your Valentine by wearing your brand new laced up bra and panties without them knowing until the end of the night. It’s a win-win situation: you get brand new underwear for your collection while your lover, well…you let your mind wander with that one. This is easily one of the best gifts you can come up with, without putting much thought into it.
2 Homemade gifts As a college student, we all look for the easy way out the things. That being said, staying in your budget is always the best route. Giving your Valentine a homemade gift is thoughtful and smart. Homemade cards will never go out of style- you just have to be more creative and neat than you were in kindergarten. Baking your Valentine’s favorite sweets is sentimental and low-cost, not to mention making the effort in baking instead of taking the easy way out and purchasing baked goods will give you some extra points.
3 Reenactment gifts/dates This idea might not be for everyone, but it’s easy, heartwarming and will get you extra points for being nostalgic. Take your Valentine out on a date that you’ve gone out on before. Go back to the place where you first met, or the place you went out on your first date. Reenacting these dates could bring back the old spark you first kindled.
4 Taking a load off – doing NOTHING (lazy day at home with champagne) Valentine’s Day could easily be spent at home in bed with your loved one. Make it a lazy day: watch movies, cuddle in bed, and order some take out. While most of us are busy with school and work, spending a whole day in bed seems like an absolutely phenomenal idea. Relaxing with your Valentine could be the greatest gift you could get.
EXTRA ALERT: KEEP THIS IN MIND
Unless you and your significant other came to an absolute agreement on your hate of Valentine’s Day, DO NOT forget the holiday. Just because you think the holiday is stupid doesn’t mean they do. If you’re confused, bring it up in random conversation with a simple “So how do you feel about Valentine’s Day?” If you get a negative/careless reaction, you’re in the clear. If your significant other is expecting something out of you, make some type of effort. You don’t want to be the asshole who doesn’t do anything, because I promise they will remember the cheap-effortless idiot you proved yourself to be on Valentine’s Day.
At what age does someone become too old for a college-aged person to date?
I can’t answer this with exact years, but I can give you a general rule of thumb. Yes, it’s free game if you’re over 18, but “legal” and “moral” aren’t really the same in this case. Even if you don’t consider it a question of morality, it’s definitely a question of compatibility.
I know it’s 2013, and age is just a number, and we’re not supposed to care about what others think, and social norms are for squares and if you treat each other right age shouldn’t matter. But in the long run, a huge age gap does matter. Someone 10 to 15 years older than us (assuming you’re around 21) is ready to think about settling down while you’re just getting your life started. Their priorities are completely different than yours as well (“Thirsty Thursday” vs. “Sam’s Club Saturday”) which brings up the compatibility issue.
However, not everyone in college (or recently graduated) is the same age, so if someone is older but has the same interests as you then I don’t see why that wouldn’t work. That’s why I said I’d give a rule of thumb because there are always exceptions to the rules, but here are some hints that the age gap might be an issue:
These are just a few signs they’re too old for you. When it comes down to it, if the negatives of the relationship stem from the age gap and these negatives outweigh the positives, then it’s time to move on.
I hope this helps!
Relax ladies, they are just feet. Photo courtesy of MCT Campus.
He likes feet.
While foot fetishes are considered the most common among fetishes, people still don’t know how to react when presented with one. Like you. Right now. You have a little freak out in your mind again; you hate feet. As you awkwardly smile and laugh, knowing he’s waiting for a green light to sex-up your feet, you think to yourself, “What do I do now?”
In this situation, and in any other fetish situation, you have three options.
Option one: tell him straight up that you’re not into it. If handling each other’s hooves isn’t exactly your idea of foreplay and you’re not budging on that, then it’s best to be honest. If you agree to it and it clearly bothers you, he (or even she, girls can be into that too) is going to notice, making things that much more awkward and it could even end the relationship. If you’re not open to the idea, honesty is the best policy, but let him down easy. Whether you think it’s strange or not, don’t tell him that. Just let him know that you don’t think you can handle something like that and would like to keep things simple. If he goes on to ask if you’ll ever be ready for it, once again, be honest. If you think one day down the road you might be able to embrace feet or if you’re set in stone with your decision, just tell him.
Option two: go slow and test the waters. Maybe you like this guy enough that you’ll give his foot-love a try, but you want to go slow. Like trying anything else new in the bedroom, some people need to get used to their partner’s ways of doing things. If he wants to be all over your feet, try having him massage up and down your legs first. Not only will it relax you and (hopefully) prep you for actual foot action, but it may also make things that much better for him when he actually gets to touch your feet. Once you you’re used to that, let him know he can gently massage your feet or whatever you think you’re ready for. If the shoe is on the other foot however, and he wants you to touch his feet, do what you’re most comfortable with first. Let him know first that you want to take it slow, and maybe try having him rub his feet up and down your legs or put them in your lap. This way it will be easier for you to be at ease with the idea of perhaps massaging his feet. As time progresses and you get more comfortable, see if he wants to take things to a new level. (Like kissing your feet, sucking on toes, ‘footjobs,’ etc.)
Option three: just go for it. Do what he wants within means of how far you want to go. If you don’t have any inhibitions regarding the subject, then by all means try it out!
Overall, this is a situation that could more than likely happen to you. Whether it’s a foot fetish or any other kind of interesting fetish, try to be open minded. Not only would it be a new experience to try with someone you obviously like enough to try it with, but you might even discover something new that you like too.
If you write a song for a girl then break up, and a record label purchases the song, do you give her credit?
- Nate Hartsel
I’m glad to see that your question has plenty of emotional baggage, and I hope this response can help you send it packing for good. After some thought, I’d have to say whether or not you give her credit depends on the terms of the breakup and where the relationship stands now. Is it negative, healthy, or nonexistent?
Negative: The term “break up” doesn’t normally go along with “still friends,” so I’ll assume that you hate her guts...or are at least holding a grudge. In that case, go with the Taylor Swift Strategy. Everyone knows Taylor is a normal psychotic young woman who happens to be good with a guitar and great with words. After loving someone fiercely and breaking up with them four days later, she writes songs about them that inevitably become top hits. Though she doesn’t say names (with the minor exception of “Dear John,” which confirmed America’s suspicion that John Mayer is completely douche-tastic), it’s easy enough to figure out who they’re about. If it’s mean, it publicly destroys his image. If not, it makes him feel really stupid for leaving her. So if you don’t say anything, she’ll figure it out when she hears it and either feel really bad and miss you if it’s sweet and sappy, or really angry if it paints her in a negative way. Either way, don’t give the girl the satisfaction of knowing it’s about her! It will drive her crazy if she’s wondering if it’s about someone else.
Healthy: On the other hand, if you’re still on good terms or just not on horrible terms, leave the mental games out. Regardless of the song’s attitude, let her know that something good came out of your relationship. Tell her one of your songs was purchased and she was the inspiration for it. Chances are she will be happy for you and even feel a little special when she hears it. Someone wrote a song for me once, and even though that relationship fizzled, it’s still nice to hear it, knowing that at some point someone cared enough about me to make music about me.
Nonexistent: If you’re completely done and don’t talk anymore, there’s no need to dig up old dirt. What’s done is done. At one point it meant something, and now it made you some money on top of getting your foot in the music industry’s door. Just leave it be.
Good luck with your songwriting, and also with whatever you decide to do about this!
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. However, with the mistletoe, ice rinks, Christmas lights, New Years’ kisses, and old high school sweethearts hanging around, it’s easy to feel alone and hard to maintain a college relationship over the long winter break. Many students agree, maintaining a relationship over the holidays can be considered work. With the right amount of communication, trust, and flexibility, however, getting through the holidays will be less like a stormy blizzard and more like a walk through a winter wonderland.
Luckily, with today’s technology we no longer have to rely on carrier pigeons and smoke signals to talk with our significant other. The occasional text or Snapchat throughout the day is a good reminder to let them know you are thinking about them. It’s important to remember not to get upset if they don’t respond to you right away. The holidays are a time to be spent with family, and one can’t be held accountable for not always having their phone on them. A phone call a day is a reasonable idea to allow the both of you to check in with one another and spend time with each other.
Depending on how close you live in proximity to one another and how far into the relationship you are, determines whether or not you spend time celebrating the holidays together. There are couples who have been together for three years who still don’t spend Christmas together, and couples who have been together for a couple months who do spend Christmas together. If you live close to one another, the decision is ultimately up for the both of you to decide, but you should not feel obligated to spend the day together. Especially if you live far apart, spending Christmas together is probably out of the question. Being that winter break does last a month, though, both of you should each make the effort to visit the other one at least once during the break. This gives you a chance to spend some much needed time together, show them your hometown and have them to meet your family.
Relationships aren’t perfect, and no one can expect the time around the holidays to be either. Be prepared to experience a lot more time away from your significant other than you are used to, but use this time to better yourself and your relationship. As stated earlier, distance makes the heart grow fonder, and the brief time apart over winter break might be a good thing.