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Most of us have seen the episode Friends where Monica and Chandler plan a getaway for two to Vegas and it suddenly turns into a group vacation. It can be hard to accept that your best friend of the opposite sex has a significant other. It can also be hard not to overstep your boundaries.
1 Don’t be the third wheel: As best friends you’ve always done everything together, but now that your bestie has a significant other, it’s time for you to hang out with other people too. (Yes, you can do it!) It’s okay for you to go on a date with them if you’re invited, but don’t pull the friendship card and automatically assume you’re invited. This will definitely put a wedge between your friendship. And even though you tell you best friend everything, don’t blow up their phone while they’re on a date. You want to see your best friend happy right? Well his/her significant other is going to make your besties life miserable if he/she is constantly interrupting their date for you. If you have something important to tell him/her shoot a text saying “hey, got some news for ya, call me when you can! No rush though and have fun tonight.” This will let your best friend know you have something to say but you respect the boundaries and his/her time with their significant other.
2Jealousy: This is a big problem in relationships all over, whether your best friend is the same or opposite sex as you. After all, this new relationship IS taking away some of best friend time. What’s important though, is to put things into perspective. You have to trust your pal that they will still make time for you and not leave you in the dust. Although if you feel like you have been left in the dust, confront your friend calmly and express your concerns.
3Taking sides: Don’t do it!!!! Obviously you are going to want to take your best friends side, but you know, even if your friend says “that’s it, I’m done.” It’s NOT the end. Be supportive. Be objective and stand by them whether tthey’re right or wrong, but be HONEST! Sometimes it takes an outsider to put things into perspective or to make the person realize how stupid they are acting. Also, Don’t trash the significant other because if and when they do get back together, the significant other is going to find out what you said. Which will make things AKWARD! But, most importantly, don’t try to fix the problem. It’s not your relationship to fix. Let them work it out on their own.
Being the best wingman/wing-woman just means giving your best friend space. Offer advice when asked and always be honest with them. Don’t sugar coat things to make them feel better because in the end, that’s just going to hurt them. Respect their relationship but don’t shut him or her out either.Contact Monique Zappa at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .
