Illustration Courtesy of MCT Campus
There are three kinds of people in this world when it comes to relationships. The desperately single people, the die-hard committed people and the people that play “eenie meenie miney mo-lover”.
More often than not, girls and guys find themselves caught between two possible suitors. No, I don’t mean in the threesome kind of way. What I am referring to is when it comes down to the hard choice of picking which girl or guy you want to be exclusive with.
First things first, you should be aware that whatever choice you make, you are going to hurt someone. Not to be too harsh here, but you basically are playing the part of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. You spent time with each person and promised each one different things, now you have to let one go. There are several different paths to take in a situation like this. Therefore, before you freak out, consider all of your exit strategies.
The best part about celebrities, movies and music is that they have really good advice sometimes. I believe it was Johnny Depp who said, “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.”
It may seem harsh, but it is a piece of wisdom to consider. You wouldn’t have fallen for the second person if something weren’t missing in the first. Think about what it is that makes you happiest when you are with that person.
Not to reference another pop culture icon, but The Notebook also gives good advice. In the movie, if you haven’t seen it, a girl has to pick between two guys. One of these guys is her fiancée and the other her first love. The first love asks her to picture her life years from that moment. If you see yourself with one of these individuals in the future, don’t be afraid of following your heart.
For girls, choosing is a lot harder than for guys. As the millionaire matchmaker says, “The penis does the picking.” Girls don’t have it so easy. We have a guilt reflex that twitches whenever we upset anyone. This is often why we break up with you because our parents don’t approve. That’s a different article though. Basically, if you are a girl and are struggling with choosing between fellas it’s normal. If you are a guy and are having trouble picking, then you care more about a relationship than sexual contact. This is a good sign. On the other hand, if you are basing your choice strictly on physical attributes it is time to consider what you want out of a relationship. Perhaps you aren’t ready for one just yet.
Another path that is rarely taken in this process, is to move on from both choices. Sometimes, we just can’t pick between two guys or girls. Perhaps the choice is difficult because the feelings you have aren’t what you think they are. If you need to walk away from both suitors to find something fresh, don’t hesitate to do so. This isn’t about making anyone else happy. This is about you. It’s not fair to keep two people on “The Hook”.