She's just not that into you

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She has your number memorized, your schedule in her planner and she just can’t seem to take a hint. The “psycho stalker chick” is all over the place and has been ever since the bunny incident in “Fatal Attraction.” The 2009 movie “She’s Just Not That Into You” did not do much to help that image. It portrayed girls as pathetic, desperate creatures that have no concept of rejection.

Well guys might easily laugh at this, one question is sure to cease the pitying laughter: Have you ever heard yourselves? That’s right. You with the Y chromosomes can be just as embarrassingly relentless. The females deserve their chance at letting guys in on the painful truth- she’s just not that into them.

Unfortunately, it’s not always as easy as pepper spraying the guy that sleeps in the tree outside your window. What about when it’s one of your best friends feeling the romance? A restraining order can’t solve that one. However, a few strategically placed hints can... as long as the guy picks up what you’re (sometimes not so subtly) putting down. So boys, here are a few hints to help you recognize when it’s time to hit the road.

She is the busiest girl in the world.

If she is constantly unavailable, chances are she isn’t being completely truthful with her schedule. Even if she actually does have class for 16 hours a day (including weekends), she would go out of her way to make time for you if she really wanted to see you.

It takes her a while to answer.

This might be subconscious on her part, but repeatedly taking three hours to answer your “wazzup” text should be a warning sign. Cell phones are an extension of our hands these days, so you know she got the message. However, rather than getting excited to hear from you, she got distracted instead. If you’re not getting the .5 seconds it takes to respond, don’t expect much of her time.

She is so glad you guys are friends.

Dropping the “F bomb” is a euphemism for “thanks but no thanks.” Pulling the friend card is easier because rather than saying “let’s just be friends” (which never works), it’s a way of saying “let’s stay friends.” She likes you and cares for you, just not in “that” way.

You only see her “out.”

Your social circles run together and you see her at parties every weekend. She is flirty and fun to be around and might seem interested, but that’s where it ends. If she was into you, she’d want to be with you all the time. That means having lunch, doing homework, having a movie night, etc. If your time together is limited to party time, move on.

You’ve never hooked up while sober.

When alcohol is added to the mixture, things tend to get physical. While drunken hook ups can mean she likes you, if these are the only times you get frisky, then it’s just for fun to her. No strings attached.

She talks about other guys to you.

Hello! Nothing says BFF and not BF more than coming to you for relationship advice. Sometimes the other guy might be real and sometimes he’s imaginary. Bottom line, whether she’s actually hung up on someone else or she’s making it seem like she is- the message is the same. She’s just not that into you.

You initiate all conversation.

Whether it’s a phone call, a Facebook chat, a text or just going up to her at a party, if you’re doing all the work all the time then it’s a one way relationship. Even if she is shy, a girl that really likes you will find excuses to talk to you.

Hopefully this can help all the good guys out there and doesn’t break too many hearts. Don’t go running out for a heart shaped box of chocolates if some or all of these apply to you. Remember, there’s someone out there for everyone. So rather than wasting your time on someone who is wasting their time on someone else, go find that person who fully appreciates your awesomeness.


While all of these are legitimate signs, there are also a few seemingly obvious, surface level hints to look out for:

  • She is playing Angry Birds the entire time you are together.

  • She calls you some variation of dude or bro.

  • She tries to hook you up with her friend. He is also male.

  • She has not once spoken to you or answered any attempts at communication.

  • You have yet to hear her laugh, but you imagine it is magical.

  • She punches you often. In the face.

  • If you are eating together, she finishes her food and proceeds to eat your leftovers.

  • She talks about how hot other guys are and asks your opinion.

  • She tells unladylike jokes in your presence and laughs harder than you do.

Contact Natalie Moses at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

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