Screw Cupid. Fake holidays better than Valentine’s Day

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 If buying 12 cheesy roses when your bank account is already in the negatives for a girl who probably is kissing your best friend sounds disgusting to you, here are some other holidays that you might want to celebrate instead.

  • Best friend tells you she’s pregnant day!
  • Awkward run-in with someone from high school day!
  • Five voicemails and they’re all from your mom day!
  • Puked on by your drunk boyfriend day!
  • Not sure if you sat in Nacho Cheese or vomit day!
  • Yoga instructor calls you out for farting day!
  • Welcome home dog-shit on the carpet day!
  • Sit next to the guy your girlfriend cheated on you with day!
  • Walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper on your shoe day!
  • Drunk dial your boss day!
  • Get mistaken for the opposite gender day!

Contact Kelsey Misbrener at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

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