Category: He Said, She Said
Throughout my years of personal experience I have found something women are inherently bad at. Women are really bad at knowing when you should meet their parents. Most of us guys know or think we are awesome, but there is a time and place for you to show us off and there are certain ways you should do it. The worst part about meeting the parents is the actual conversations women expect guys to have; especially talking to the dad. Politics, religion and sports are subject that you ladies probably assume are things we have in common and can talk about forever and be bros over, right? You’re wrong. These subjects are just conversational time bombs have a really big potential to explode in everyone’s face.
One sure-fire way to get us to say really dumb things to your parents is by making us meet them both at the same time. It’s bad enough meeting one parent, but meeting both is like being interrogated by Hitler and Mussolini. Most guys who have never been put in this situation will spew information that can bring down the whole state of your union.
Something else that pisses most guys off is not being told you’re going to meet the parents. Doing this doesn’t take the pressure off guys, it just adds fuel to our proverbial “Stupidity-Fire.” An example, your girlfriend invites you over her house for dinner; you just got done working out and you assume everything is all hunky-dory. You walk in and there are her parents are making dinner. In doing this you have now successfully transformed a normal dinner into an inmate’s last meal. Now, not only are you mentally backed into a corner, but now your sweat and attire make you look like a large sweaty land-monster. If you do this, there is only one thing we know how to do well and that is survive by any means. The things we might do are included, but not limited to:
Accidentally inform the parents you sleep over
Be honest and make himself look bad
Lie and make seem two-face to the parents
Pretty much anything we say has an exponential potential to make all parties involved look really bad. So, if at all possible just don’t let us meet the parents.
Meeting the parents is a tradition harbored for many centuries. I mean, Pocahontas’s dad never met John Smith and look how that turned out. Truth is, girls suck at the whole meet the parents part. We get nervous about letting our parents down. I have mentioned a girl’s guilt reflex before and I will mention it again. If our parents take us on any sort of guilt trip, you are old news. We hate choosing between people and choosing sides. This “guilt reflex” makes it impossible for us to calm down when you meet our parents. Our nerves get the best of us when we try to make you meet the whole family. And here comes the analogy….
I was dating this guy for a while and he had met my dad and my mom separately (we will get to that later). Everything was going swimmingly until I invited him to family Thanksgiving. It was supposed to be a small family gathering so I thought it would be perfect. He agreed and then hell ensued. What was supposed to be a small Thanksgiving turned into a “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” version of Thanksgiving. I’m pretty sure every pilgrim twitched in their graves.
Then there was my boyfriend and I in a plethora of awkwardness. He didn’t know anyone and I was there not sure of who to introduce him too.
I can only hope that females learn from my mistakes. Family meetings should always be casual and easy. It should be nothing over the top or out of place.
Keep it simple and all will be well.