He Said

Women, when it comes to video games you should remember these three words “leave,” “us” and “alone”. There is no reason for you to interrupt us. We wouldn’t interrupt your night if you wanted to knit or cook something. Sure, there is probably other things we should be doing, but that’s the whole point of video games; to avoid doing what we need to. Interrupting us playing video games would be like stopping you from watching the “Army Wives” marathon or stopping our shopping trip to go have sex.

Some women think they’re pretty smart and try to play it with you. Ladies this is also a no-no. We are playing this video game to not pay attention to you and to hang out with other people. I have only met one woman who is as good, if not better at video games than the average guy. Men are the 99 percent of decent video-gamers.

Another power women try to use is flower power between their legs. The only time this should work is if the game is able to be paused. If that’s the case, guys, pause the game and take care of your business. After the deed is done you can get back to saving the world. However, if your “pon”ing noobs online, then play until you can’t take the complaints anymore. Ladies, playing video games won’t permanently stop the blood flow to your man’s penis. It’s like what my momma says: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” So, ladies take your hands off the joystick and find something else to do other than annoy us. It’s just going to be better for everyone in the long-run.

Contact Nathan Lehota at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

She Said

Girls hate exes and they also hate X-Boxes. The majority of the female population is jealous that their man can turn on an X-Box before turning her on. I, myself, am on the fence. I believe that there is a point where a guy should kill the kill streaks. On the other hand, I think when a girl can play a decent game of Gears of War with their beau it’s adorable.

I didn’t come over to your house to watch you “pwn some n00bs”. I am not here to listen to you talk about your kill streaks. I don’t care about your kill streaks. All I want is euphoria between the sheets. Is that too much to ask?

What really gets to me is when a guy is playing Call of Duty with some other girl in East Jesus Californication Beach and having a grand old time. Playing video games with another girl other than your girlfriend is wrong. That would be like your girl going to your friend’s party and you waiting outside.

The bad thing that can happen when a girlfriend plays video games with her man is she could end up in the “Brozone”. The Brozone is the female equivalent of a guy’s “FriendZone”. If a guy seesa girl as his teammate in virtual war zones, that’s all he will see you as. Again, playing time should be limited to avoid the Brozone.

Keep calm and play on, but remember to use video games as a connection, not as an escape from your significant other.

Contact Madison Brady at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .