Congratulations, graduating seniors! You’re out of the frying pan and into the fire...not to mention balls deep in debt. Unfortunately, in the real world there is no such thing as summer break, so kiss your youth goodbye and kindly disregard this article. To those returning for the best years of your life in the fall, read on for a smooth transition into summer.
It’s that lovely yet bittersweet time of year again. Everyone’s childhood BFF Summer is about to come back to town, and all necessary preparations must be made for this annual light at the end of the tunnel. However, everyone’s brain is disoriented, due in equal parts to finals and tear gas. So after that last final, you might find yourself having no idea how to get back into the swing of summer. Fear not, fellow Flashes. This ten-step program is your path to recovery.
1 Find a pool: And a book. And a new playlist. And some sunscreen. And some sick new shades. And a boat. And concert tickets. And that HBO series you never had time to watch during the semester.
2 Quit summer jobs, drop summer classes: People concerned about your future might recommend making the best of your summer and gaining professional experience. Make it easy on yourself and simply ignore them. You can deal with the future when it happens and enjoy your free time now.
3 Take a nap: Seriously, look around. You’ll see a bunch of crazy-eyed zombies. When you walk out of that last exam, go straight to your bed, and hibernate until sleep deprivation is out of the picture. You’ll be a completely re-charged person.
4 Refresh your memory of “home friends”: go on Facebook and do a little research on the people you haven’t seen since winter break. Look at your old pictures so you have events to reference and conversation won’t get awkward. Write on their wall and tell them HOW MUCH YOU MISS THEM <3 <3 <3.
5 Do 20 million crunches: Remember in January when you made that New Year’s resolution to work out, then again in March when you realized you had to step it up for bikini (or banana hammock) season? Well, go ahead and make up for lost time. Spend 18 hours a day working out.
6 Start and complete a project: Throughout the winter, you probably saw a million things on Pinterest you wanted to do. Whether it’s repainting your furniture or knitting your cat a creepy little sweater, now’s the time to accomplish those projects.
7 Go outside: Take advantage of the sun and free Vitamin D while it lasts. Nothing defrosts winter blues like the good old outdoors. If you’re not sleeping or eating, you better be outside walking your dog, kayaking, jogging, fishing, playing or watching baseball, riding a Razor scooter, or anything active!
8 Find a fling: If you’re in a relationship, end it immediately to remove unnecessary stress. Strike up something new with someone who you don’t care too much about but like spending time” with.
9 Sell your books back: Setting your books on fire might be a tempting option, but there’s a certain finality and satisfaction out of returning them and getting back enough cash to pay the tolls on your way home. It’s kind of like stickin’ it to the man.
10Let social media know you’re done for the semester: Everybody cares, every friend and follower is waiting eagerly for you to shove in their face that you have officially broken up with the Spring of 2012 semester.
If you do each of these, you should completely forget what it means to be a hardworking college student. If you are anything near a decent human being, the lazy bum thing will get old. By the time August rolls around, you’ll be completely rejuvenated with a renewed desire for academic success. That or you’ll miss your friends so much you’ll be sprinting back here. Either way, we’ll see you in the fall. Be safe and have fun!