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1You cannot get away with reckless driving.
Reckless driving is not a good thing in itself, but we all know the feeling of oversleeping and racing the clock to get to school or work on time. The only possible way to make it is to do 40 in that 25 and refuse to yield to those bastard red lights that are clearly only trying to stop you because you’re in a hurry. Even if you happen to get stopped by a lingering police office, they often let you off, especially if you have a good driving record. However, heartless traffic cameras have no such discretion. Have a stab wound and going 46 in a 35 on the way to the hospital? Traffic cam no care. Ticket.
2 Tactfully blowing people off is no longer possible
Creep in your class that won’t leave you alone: I called you, left you a voicemail, texted you, Facebook messaged you, posted on your wall and Tweeted you about hanging out last night. You: Sorry, I had to work late. Creep in your class that won’t leave you alone: But I saw that you Instagrammed a picture of yourself at the bars...
3What did people do with all of their money before technology?
$300 iPhone, $25 per month data package, $2.99 per app for a billion apps, $1200 MacBook, $30 a month for wireless internet, $150 Microsoft Office package, $100 Kindle, $200 iPod. Most people have a combination of these things or similar technologies. Keeping up with the newest technology is hard, but keeping up with the payments is harder.
4 Bluetooths make everyone look stupid
Bluetooths, while alone in the privacy of your own vehicle, can be a helpful way to multi-task while you drive, but when you’re talking into the tiny, virtually invisible little piece of plastic wedged into your ear in a public place, you often come off as a paranoid schizophrenic fresh out of the psych ward. News flash: You can afford to use your hand to hold your phone while you’re waiting for a table at Applebee’s. Even if you’re not a bozo who inappropriately uses a Bluetooth, you can still end up looking like an idiot as the result of said bozo’s bluetooth overuse. Nothing’s more embarrassing than thinking someone’s Bluetooth conversation is a blind stab at small talk with you. When prompted with the question: “So, what are you up to today?” or something similar, be sure to get a quick glance at both of the speaker’s ears before responding.
5 Nobody has social skills anymore.
After two weeks of texting the cute guy whose phone number you drunkenly scored at the bar one Thursday night, you are totally crushing. He always uses correct grammar, and has been sending you a smiley every morning for the past week. He never responds too fast, but doesn’t keep you waiting hours for a response. He sent you a cute picture of him cuddling with his cat earlier this week and some adorable Hall and Oates lyrics today. You have been looking forward to seeing this guy again for weeks, and when you finally meet up for coffee, it’s the most awkward experience of your life. Neither of you know what to say or do, so you fidget with your hands and mumble about one of your asshole professors while he laughs nervously. It’s so easy to communicate with someone when you’re able to rewrite your text three times before you send it. Don’t forget how to (soberly) bond with people in the flesh. That’s a skill you may just need some day.
Contact Brittany Hill at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .
