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1“Turtle backpack turtle spin. Turtle backpack turtle pushup.” -Things To Do Instead of Cleaning Your Room
2“There’s no cure for ugly, but you can make yourself into a human optical illusion.”-How To Trick People Into Thinking You’re Good Looking
3“But we’re not gonna crack the eggs because that’s abortion!” -Cooking With Sarah Palin
4“Are you from Tenessee? Because I want to make out with your face.” -How To Make Pickup and Hookup Lines
5“99.9 percent of the time I will talk to anyone who comes up to me, and I am super nice. But, as soon as your penis touches my butthole without me knowing, then I’m not happy.” -How To Avoid Talking To People You Don’t Want To Talk To” aka: The Face Looking
6“I like to wear colors like black because it says I’m a whore.” -How To Trick People Into Thinking You’re Good Looking
7“The idea is you wanna make him wanna make it rain on that ass.” -How To Get Ready For A Date
8“I gotta be honest. 99 percent of my game is that I sing like an angel sliding down a rainbow.” -Justin Bieber’s Tricks for Picking Up Chicks
9“Inappropriate Pants off dance off!” -When The Face Doesn’t Work
10“What kind of bees make milk? BOObees.” -Justin Bieber’s Tricks for Picking Up Chicks
11“Chili face noodle punch!” -Things To Do Instead of Cleaning Your Room
12“Sparkly cupcake mouse. Fluffy marshmallow kitten. Tasty muffin snake. Glittery brownie bear. Pretty pickle porcupine. Sexy candy panda.” -How To Make Awesome Pet Names
13“Vaginal birth is for people who want to play by the rules.”
-“Deep Thoughts With Kesha”
14“What do you get when you put a landshark with a landshark? Jesus.” -Landshark
15“How you doin’ sexual?” -What Girls Think About During Sex
16“Stop sign? Fuck that. Pedestrian? Fuck you. 85 in a 30? Fuck yeah!" -What Boys Do In The Car’ Room
Contact Madeleine Winer at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .
