Category: More Fun & Games
DURATION: 9 months, unless you’re overdue.
DAMAGE: You will be looked upon as a floozy for having unprotected sex. Friends will come and go.
SOLUTION: You learn who your true friends are because they are there for you.
DURATION: The whole night of the party. (Unless you get more compliments on your outfit than she does, don’t expect this storm cloud to pass.)
DAMAGE: Your originality will take a beating, but your friends will tell you that you looked way better than that style-stealing sista.
SOLUTION: Tell that bitch to find her own style. It’s not just a coincidence that you both happen to own the same Forever 21 black mini skirt. Like all style mishaps, this, too, shall pass.
DURATION: As long as you keep hooking up with random guys and waking up in someone else’s bed
DAMAGE: Your reputation will be as the girl who lives on easy street.
SOLUTION: Stop the revolving whore door!
DURATION:Half the time of the relationship, according to “Sex and the City.”
DAMAGE: Someone’s heart will be broken.
SOLUTION: Get a new haircut, buy a new outfit and let your ex see what he or she is missing
DURATION: You ignore your so-called “friend” until she apologizes or makes it up to you somehow. Your friend may not get the hint, so this could take a while. Meanwhile, you tell your other friends about her off-putting actions
DAMAGE: You start questioning your friendship. Why would I want to be friends with someone who disrespects me?
SOLUTION: If she keeps dissing you, dump her. Find other friends.
DURATION:As long as you both keep holding a grudge, you will be in this for the long haul.
DAMAGE: This could mean the ruination of a friendship. Your other friends could be given an ultimatum to take sides. You could lose friends in the process. If the fight ends and you’re still friends, trust will continue to be an issue.
SOLUTION: Talk it out! Gossiping behind your bestie’s back is so high school.
DURATION: Until the virtual tension (tension you feel on the internet) dies down.
DAMAGE: Although the internet provides a virtual cushion for your feelings, those words still hurt your ego.
SOLUTION: Confront the chick in person! Don’t stoop to her level and diss her online.
DURATION:No real stopping or ending point here. Girls being catty is nothing new!
DAMAGE: Most likely, girls are insulting you behind your back so they think you will never know, but your woman’s intuition tells you otherwise. Occasional emotional damage is to be expected.
SOLUTION: Pull yourself up. You can fizzle any burn! If worst comes to worst, throw it back I their face. It’s fair game!
DURATION: Until you find a redeeming quality in her, you just won’t like her
DAMAGE: You could prevent a friendship from forming.
SOLUTION: Some people are just not meant to be in the same social circle
DURATION: As long as that relationship lasts, your friends will find it “awkward” to hang out with you and your beau.
DAMAGE: She’s a gold digger
SOLUTION: Date guys within a realistic age range. Going out with your dad to the club is just boring!
You or your girlfriend got pregnant.
You see someone wearing same outfit
Accused of having a lot of sex
Breakup with your boyfriend/girlfriend
Your friend is really obnoxious or rude to you
Get into fight with one of closest friends
Someone calls you a name on Facebook
I just don’t like her/him. PERIOD.
Dating a way older person
Duration: nine months + the rest of your life
Damage: You are a baby daddy, child support. Whether you stay or not, you are going to lose a lot of money.
Solution: Ditch like a dead-beat Dad/or man-up and get ready for fatherhood
Duration: a few seconds
Damage: None. It’s actually good, almost laughable
Solution: Give him a compliment and keep walking.
Duration: As long as people around you care
Damage: Not enough people know, or everyone thinks you’re a pimp and a ladies man (if you don’t like that kind of thing)
Solution: Keep on Pimpin’
Duration: Depending on your relationship, a few months to the rest of your life.
Damage: You lost your girl; Slow and painful emotional and mental anguish
Solution: Bury your feelings deep inside yourself for as long as you can, then let them all out while getting drunk with friends. Cry like a baby/Live like a slob in your house watching TV for weeks listening to shitty love songs.
Duration: As long as you let him piss you off
Damage: Your bro is pissing you off. Ruining your day
Solution: Confront him about it/avoid him at all costs/ditch him somewhere
Duration: 1 week at the most.
Damage: You feel kind of empty and upset inside
Solution: Settle it like gentlemen with a good-ol’-fashion fisticuffs, loser admits he was wrong (whether or not he really was) winner says that it was his fault, both agree that they both were acting stupid, friendship reinstated
Duration: As long as you still have them as a friend
Damage: Pissing you off/ruining your day/tarnishing your good name on facebook
Solution: Report/unfriend/block them or call them names, then challenging them to say it to you in person at a predetermined time and destination.
Damage: Feel a bit less of a man
Solution: Deny, deny, deny/willing to do anything to prove you are a man.
Example quote: “Well a real man can tip this car over!”
Duration: As long as you have to be around him
Damage: Just can't befriend a guy (very rare, must have a good reason). Really awkward silence whenever you’re around him
Solution: Either try to like him or avoid him, those are the two options
Duration: As long as the relationship lasts
Damage: Dating an older woman is being questioned by your peers. Mild humiliation/jokes from your friends
Solution: Get new friends/deal with it/leave relationship because you’re too immature for a relationship