Top 5 Things NOT to Tweet

Category: Buzz Kill

User Rating:  / 0
PoorBest 

Let’s agree everyone is guilty of putting a little “too much” out there on his or her social networking platforms. So, here is a list of the top 5 things you should never tweet unless you want people to unfollow you.

1 Don’t tweet about being pregnant, especially if you’re less than one month along and NOT married
I worked with a gal back home at the good ol’ Steak N Shake who tweeted about how excited she was to be a mommy. Then … she had her period. Talk about a game changer. Ouch.

2 Don’t tweet boring headlines.
I get it. You’re a journalism major, or you’re “worldly.” What you don’t get is that no one gives two shits about you copying and pasting a headline into a tweet. In fact, I will unfollow you if you post a headline as a tweet and try to pass it off as your own … that’s what CNN, MSNBC and other local news Twitter accounts are for. The only time it is ever OK to tweet a headline is if you re-tweeted it from the original source or you’re making fun of the story and you link the article. Good Lord!

3 Don’t tweet about getting fired.
You tweeting about getting fired and misspelling a variety of words in the tweet gives you even less credibility and makes you a bigger dumbass. Ya know what? Tweet about getting fired and I’ll send it to all of my friends in direct messages and make fun of your lack of intelligence. Obviously you sucked at your job in the first place. Not to mention, you tweeting about it shows that you are class-less and attention-starved because no one cares. Maybe consider sending a text message to express your hatred for your prick boss? Thank you.

4 Don’t tweet song lyrics.
I get it. You’re trendy and emotional! You want the world to know how deep you are or how “ghetto fab” you can be. You tweeting the newest J. Cole or Modest Mouse lyrics don’t do anything for me. What they do is piss me off. Listen, I’m going to type those lyrics into Google … and when I find out that the song sucks, I will be even more upset. Here’s a thought. How about posting the link to a YouTube video. or better yet? Write in your diary.

5 Don’t tweet sports scores.
Do you think I give two shits about a sports score? Those are numbers! They don’t mean anything to mean. Tell me who won! Also, if you like numbers so much, go be an accountant.

Contact Mike Holden at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

Face Buzzzzzz

Buzzzzzz Comments

Share on Myspace